Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
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