I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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