but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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