If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
