Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
