I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
