Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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