My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
