You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
