I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
