I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
