I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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