I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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