I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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