I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
