God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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