im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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