she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
But break dance skills will only take you so far
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
