I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
