WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
