I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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