saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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