They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
