Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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