i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
