I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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