don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
