i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
