every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
