She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
