you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize