Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He has the fingertips of a God
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