Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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