the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
