I only kidnapped one of them. chill
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
