This girl is more easily done than said...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
