i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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