Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
