fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
