I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
