You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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