well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Randomize