Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
