your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
