I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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