WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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