i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
