"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
