it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
