Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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