wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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