I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
