You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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