when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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