now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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