Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
