apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
