I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
