TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
