I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
