We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
